A visibility rebrand
Collectively, we’ve got it wrong.
It’s okay to want to be seen. We all want that in the relationships we invest in, but especially when we become entrepreneurs.
The very thing that passionately burns us from the inside, to build outwardly for our lives, is the very thing that makes us want to be visible. It’s not as separate as our minds make us think. It’s the kind that centers you and what you’re here to share, while building what you are. The reluctance you may feel at first? That doesn’t ever truly win. It’s a muscle built over time because a bigger and more meaningful part of you actually wants visibility.
That truth is why holding a metaphorical mic, if you will, is appealing. Not to be preachy or force your way of being onto others, but to share yourself in the digital presence that’s so relevant for your business. Some of my own mic moments in life have been quite literal.
Right now, I have my podcast, The Grounds, but earlier than that, I was the little girl who forced my family members to present me in any living room we were in. As a mic, they would use a remote control or whatever else could be substituted for one. I vividly remember one of my grandpas saying, “Te presento, Ylani!” (I present to you, Ylani!) and while he was still alive, he never stopped reminding me of those memories. I would come out wearing a new outfit as if I were on a runway, or for a song I wanted to belt out, or simply just yap about the things I really wanted to share. And this inner child still comes out to play all the time as an adult.
You should see how versions of this still exist, especially when I have information about some new interest or I’m hyper-fixated on something. Or like that one time last summer, when I psychoanalyzed my parents and siblings by reading them their astrological natal charts. A lot of excitement from me, a lot of yeah yeah yeah from everyone else lmao.
Even with this being such a core part of me, I’ve had to work on my relationship with visibility for my digital presence like you wouldn’t believe!
I obviously don’t have a problem with it in relationships I’m most comfortable with, but there are countless other scenarios where it doesn’t feel as easy. I’ve learned I can eventually get comfortable, and it just takes time. When it does, it’s okay to build something by sharing things that say, Hey it’s me! This is what I love, believe in, and am doing. No shame in it if you feel the same, and you definitely don’t need to explain yourself for wanting it either.
I’ve been v i s i b i l e this month over on Instagram. See this post, this one, this one, and this one. They’re my May faves.
In the work that you’re in, building a digital presence is to be visible for the parts you want to show. Not forced, performative, or visibility for the sake of being in places you don’t want to be in. The kind that represents what you’ve actually always liked, as a person, before you absorbed what it’s meant collectively for years.
Unfortunately, ongoing advice and POVs have brought resentment towards visibility. So much so that it becomes a drag while we’re building our businesses to put energy towards it. It’s made us feel so negatively sensitive that reading or hearing about it from another successful creative in the space at that spikes up the sensitivity in a millisecond. Or maybe you just roll your eyes?
Whatever that reaction alludes to, this is what I believe we’ve collectively gotten so so so so wrong about it.
Instead of it being about alignment, it’s been about force. Where more, more, more is enough, and yet we end wanting to close up shop somewhere down the line. Where acting like someone else (or everyone else) over who you are turned into “being accepted” and “belonging”, but became a byproduct of diluting your entire essence. Where contorting yourself became the poster child of “being seen” by totally missing the mark about what being seen as an entrepreneur is actually about: The autonomy of being yourself and going after the things that you want out of life.
There isn’t a single person to point the finger at for this. Nor do I feel like that’s necessary if we did, but I get a sense this is something we humans just end up doing. Over and over again, to anything and everything, so we can continue coming back to who we truly are and stay there.
So if you’ve thought about visibility being a drag, but still feel pulled to do things that make you visible. Maybe visibility isn’t the problem. Maybe you just haven’t felt comfortable enough to admit that, Yeah I dooooo want to be seen and share a lot.
Let me know in the comments if this is you, because you’re seriously not alone!
Want to create anchor areas for your next season that support your visibility? Anchor Session is the place where we do that work together. This intimate strategy call is for the creative entrepreneur who’s been feeling stuck or has been drifting from their vision. We plan a strategy that’s lean so it supports what’s going on in business and life.
If this sounds like what you need, snag a spot right here.
I’m Ylani Estwick, a fellow visionary who supports creatives step into their leadership and voice. In my world, we understand what’s underneath the strategy before creating it, because your experience is what informs it best. If you find yourself subscribed to The Cornerstone, thank you so much for your support!
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